A letter by a daughter to her father

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The Letter…

A father passing by his teenage daughter’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the pillow. It was addressed “Dad”. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:- 

Dear Dad, 

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you, but I’m leaving home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I’ve been finding real passion with Randy & he is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you’ll like him too – even with all his piercing, tattoos, & motorcycle clothes. But it’s not only the passion Dad, I’m pregnant & Randy said that he wants me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together. Even though Randy is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn’t so old these days is it?), and has no money, really these things shouldn’t stand in the way of our relationship, don’t you agree? 
Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods & has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It’s true he has other girlfriends as well but I know he’ll be faithful to me in his own way. 
Randy taught me that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone & he’ll be growing it for us & we’ll trade it with our friends for all the cocaine & ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure deserves it!! 
Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15 years old now & I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’m sure we’ll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren. 
Your loving daughter, 
Hannah… 




At the bottom of the page were the letters “PTO”. Hands still trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read: 
PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at the neighbor’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that’s in my desk centre drawer. Please sign it & call when it is safe 4 me 2 come home.

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